Author Archives: OHLCadmin

Spring Registration!

NOV 17th: SARPY campus spring semester registration begins for VOLUNTEERS and teachers. Priority registration ends Nov. 30th.

NOV 19th: CENTER campus spring semester registration begins for volunteers and teachers. Priority registration ends Dec. 2nd.

DEC. 1st: Registration for the SARPY spring classes is open to all at 8am.

DEC. 3rd: Registration for the CENTER spring classes is open to all at 8am.

FEB. 2nd:  SARPY spring semester begins. Classes end April 20th. (May 4th will end 14-week classes).

Feb. 4th:  CENTER spring semester begins. Classes end April 22nd. (May 6th will end 14-week classes).

Please remember:

1) Registration is not a guarantee of placement.

2) Classes are filled in the order that registrations are received.

4) Current balances need to be paid off to register for next semester’s classes.

5) A $20 non-refundable deposit is required for each class, which will be applied to the tuition.


The Independece Day Plot

Behind the green haze of the smoke bombs hides the real perpetrator: dog haters. Yes, it’s the work of ATEP,* in league with the pharmaceutical industry that makes millions on the sale of sedatives. (Note how Pfizer sounds like “keiser.”) This came to me when I heard many dog owners say that they can’t stand this holiday. And where are fireworks sold? In stands. And what do they sell in these “stands”? A line of products made by Black Cat. And who started this company? Yep, the Chinese. And who colonized China? Ah, see how the pieces come together. Saepe ne utile quidem est scire quid futurum sit.**

*Anyone That’s [for] Euthanizing Pooches

** Loosely translated: “How often foresight remains futile.” (Cicero)

US Leads Bazil 1 Omaha Homeschool Learning Centers to 0

Despite Google animators’ best efforts, soccer is not going to become popular in the United States. Americans typically watch soccer for two reasons: their child is in a soccer game, usually looking skyward, or they’ve fallen asleep watching something else on ESPN 2. My visiting sister-in-law disagreed: it’s going great guns where they come from. However, I was talking about America whereas they live in California.

Still, when I heard there was some sort of world competition, I assumed that we would win despite our apathy. Shoot, we crown world champions in sports and don’t even invite foreigners to compete (unless you count Canada, but why would you do that?)

I heard a rumor that we were playing Ghana, which I thought at first was some late night joke that was taken seriously. Then I found out that we had actually lost to them in previous years.

Ghana? How do you lose to Ghana? The whole country is the size of Idaho, and they have one-tenth our population, which is confined to Africa for long stretches of time. Their people earn approximately 96.77% less than we do. In other words, you lose more money between your couch cushions than the typical Ghanan makes in a year. How do they even afford soccer balls?

I’m relieved to tell you that we eked out a 2-1 victory this year. We’re playing Portugal next, which apparently did not disappear after helping to settle the new world.

If you are as lost as I am, try our geography class this fall. Or just wait for football season when all I have to remember is that the Colts are no longer in Baltimore.

The Learning Center Hearts NE

Why don’t they want to stay? Two reasons stand out: we’re boring (oh, the folly of youth!) and the weather (which they may have a point about).

This past week, inspiration struck: instead of gathering young people into our storm shelters, send them off into the wild Nebraska storms! True, it will be uncomfortable, nerve-wracking, loud, and a bit dangerous, but these are all the elements of a memorable rock concert, or bungee jumping, or living in New York.

So look for these billboards coming soon to an obscure location by you:

“Your petty personal problems are gone with our F4 winds!”

“Forget Dairy Queen: we’ve got blizzards you won’t forget!”

“Get stoned in our hail storms!”

“You’ll be carried away by our tornadoes!”

If you are looking for less exciting excitement, stay inside until it’s time for your Learning Center classes.

Sarpy Location

Registration for the general public begins June 15th at 8am.

NEW BELLEVUE LOCATION! No, we are not leaving Southwest Church of Christ, our wonderful home for the past two years. However, we plan to offer a smaller version of the Learning Center on Mondays from 10am to 2pm at Twin Valley Evangelical Free Church (1908 Lloyd St, Bellevue, NE), who has generously opened their doors to us.

We’re so excited about our new location; one of our worries is that there won’t be enough students to offer classes, so it would be greatly appreciated if you could help spread the word among your friends and groups.

Registration begins June 1st for volunteers and June 14th for the general public. Volunteers also receive a credit applied to their bill, but moms are welcome to drop kids off.

We are still in the process of getting our schedule finalized, but it should include at least the following:(The age ranges listed after the class title [e.g., “6-10”] are only suggestions. Parents should make the final determination. Feel free to ask for guidance, if needed.)

Little Ones: Tae Kwon Do 5-7, Young Artists 4-6, Young Scientists 4-6, Hands-On Math 3-6, Pre-Reading 3-6

Kiddos: Art 6-10, Hands On Engineering 6-10, O Pioneers! 6-10, Beginning Tae Kwon Do (7 & up), Guitar 6 & up, Drama 6-10,

Older: Biology 13 & up, Writing 9 & up, ACT Prep 13 & up, Tae Kwon Do (7 & up), Guitar 6 & up, Drama 10 & up

Our semester begins Sept. 8th and ends Dec. 1st; there will be no classes on Nov. 22th. Some high school classes will end on Dec. 15th. Most classes are 50 minutes long. Tuition is typically $85 for a semester class; there may also be an additional charge for fees or textbooks.

Please let me know if you have any questions, or if you have suggestions about how to make ourselves known to the Sarpy area. Feel free to contact me at

You’ve defied cultural norms, you’ve defied the state education system, not to mention your relatives’ disapproval: now it’s time to defy gravity!


Cheap wholesome high active fun that ends with worn-out kids. Holy bazooka, Batman!


Homeschool Families

Day: Wednesday, May 21st

Time: Reserved Times are 12:00 PM – 3:00 PM

Cost:  $5.00, plus tax for 1 hour of jumping

Reserve your time online using 60 minute jump for $13.50.

Use the following code to receive your discounted rate: homeschool52114.

You must insert the code for each jump ticket you purchase to receive the discount.

Example: If you purchase three jump tickets, you need to insert the code three times.

Each person MUST have a waiver filled out before jumping.  You can fill out your waiver online at  or  at Defy Gravity if you don’t have a computer at home.

(Waivers are good for 1 year before having to fill out again.)

Please arrive 15 minutes early to check in!!

Reminder: All jumpers must wear Defy Gravity’s safety jump socks for $1.50, or rent their jump shoes for $2.50

***Please remember that the above time slots are the only times saved by the Omaha Homeschool Learning Center. ***

COME TO THE PICNIC on May 7th, 3-7pm at Elmwood Park by UNO; we will provide hot dogs and lemonade and paper products (and a hot grill if you want to bring your own concoction). Please bring a side dish or a dessert. Feel free to invite your homeschool friends, whether they attend the Learning Center or not, especially if they are fun or have an interesting accent.


REGISTRATION FOR FALL 2014 begins June 1st for volunteers and teachers. On June 15th, registration is open to all.

Many of our classes stay the same year-to year, but there are always some pleasant new surprises. You will receive an email with all the details, as well as see it announced in the local e-trees and on our website. If you don’t hear anything at that time, don’t hesitate to contact us.

So what does it take to volunteer? Surprisingly little: you commit to at least one hour a week for the 12-week semester. During that time you may help students complete a class activity, babysit, or be a hall monitor.  You or your responsible teenager can indicate your willingness to help on the registration form. If you have small children with you, it’s more difficult to find a place for you, but we will be sure to find at least one area that you can help with.

In addition to being allowed to register early, volunteers also receive tuition credit scholarships for their work. Housekeeping after classes receives a $65 credit and other volunteers receive $45 per semester for each class that they help with. (For example, if someone helped in two classes and cleaned up, they would receive a $155 credit: 45+45+65.) Teenagers will receive less compensation.

We try to get everyone at least one volunteer spot, and it’s not unusual for someone to have two. The usual places that we use volunteers are in the classroom or with clean-up.


Although our classe have already started, it’s not too late to enroll. We offer pro-rated tuition, so if it suits your family, come on down! Our motto is “Homeschool happens while you’re making other plans.”