The Independece Day Plot

Behind the green haze of the smoke bombs hides the real perpetrator: dog haters. Yes, it’s the work of ATEP,* in league with the pharmaceutical industry that makes millions on the sale of sedatives. (Note how Pfizer sounds like “keiser.”) This came to me when I heard many dog owners say that they can’t stand this holiday. And where are fireworks sold? In stands. And what do they sell in these “stands”? A line of products made by Black Cat. And who started this company? Yep, the Chinese. And who colonized China? Ah, see how the pieces come together. Saepe ne utile quidem est scire quid futurum sit.**

*Anyone That’s [for] Euthanizing Pooches

** Loosely translated: “How often foresight remains futile.” (Cicero)