The Learning Center Discovers It Needed a New Boy, Not a New Car

And, of course, when I refer to new cars, I am speaking of NT​M ​(New To Me). We skipped ahead a decade and a half from our previous car. “And, what a difference,” groans Eeyore. How do I hate thee, beautiful new car? Let me start with the fob.

1. Need we go any further than its name? No one wants to hear “Honey, have you seen my fob?" A pert Miss suggested that this particular word aversion (see “moist” or “phlegm” or “moist phlegm” for others) comes from its close sound association with fop.

   Folly and moonshine! No one but a gaggle of homeschool girls even know that a fop is a vain, affected dandy, which we obviously also don’t need.

What we do need is ONE BOY (13-19yo) for one hopeful lass in​ the Swing Dance​ class, who, failing the timely appearance of a chaperone, will be spurned and rejected, deprived of all reasonable expectation, and cast adrift in an unfeeling world with no one to turn to.
Boys, you can be a dashing hero without becoming a fop!

Also, there are some other wonderful classes left (for those of you wondering)

1–2 Seats Left

Hands-On Math (4–7); Greek Myths (6–10); Spanish (6–10); Storybook Art (6–10); Land’s Sake: Art & Science (6–10); Chess (7–13); Engineering (8–10); Basketball Skills (8–14)
Archaeology (10–14); Photography (12–19); Physical Science (12–19)
Swing Dance (13–19, boy needed); Crime Through Time (14–19)

3–4 Seats Left

Art (6–10); Waffle Reading Adventures (6–10); Hand Sewing (8–15); Tae Kwon Do (8–adult);
Self-Defense / Aikido (8–adult); Art (9–14)
The Club House (10–14); Hardship to Hope: The 1930s (10–14); Spanish (10–14); The Science of Sound (10–14); Game Club (10–14); Volleyball Skills & Scrimmage (10–14)
Sign Language (12–adult); American Government (14–19); PE (13–19); Psychology 101 (14–19).

Bring a Friend!

Ballet (7–13); Hands-On Science (10–14)
Line Dancing (12–adult); Ballroom Dance (13–19); Writing Workshop (14–19); Modern Russia (14–19); Writing Academic Essays Using Classic Literature (14–19).

See all classes here.

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NOTE: Some families arrive here via a text link. If that’s you and you need to contact us, please reply by email to omahahomeschool@gmail.com—we won’t see replies sent by text.
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About Us
With over 90 courses offered each semester and a community of more than 500 students, there’s something for every age, so the whole family can learn together. Learning Center courses meet on Wednesdays at the Southwest Church of Christ (124th and West Center), run for 50 minutes, and are offered in 12-week sessions in both the fall and spring. Volunteer families typically pay $87.60 per 12-week course, compared with the standard $120 tuition. (Most courses also charge a supply fee, which can be found in the course description.)

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The Rest of the Fob

It is a truth universally acknowledged that the latest technology is cool and enviable, no matter how much harder it makes your life.
Which brings us inevitably back to the fob.

2. I don’t care what they say: you can get locked out of your car. And that is with the fob in your hand. When I tell people this, they ask me a series of questions about how I locked my car, whether an alarm went off…yada, yada, yada. I already said that I had my key in my hand. An old car would grant you immediate, unquestioned access.

3. And yes, the alarm went off. That car never stops backtalking us in a completely incoherent series of unique beeps, which occur under many different conditions, and mean nothing to us. (Because it’s not strictly about the fob, I will not even address the continual nagging the car does about lane drift, cars to the side of you, cars behind you… It’s a parking lot for Pete’s sake! We made the mistake of trying to leave a Costco parking space on a Saturday and it sounded as if the car had burst into “Carol of the Bells”, if “Carol of the Bells” were to be played with on single tuneless note.

4. Even when it’s unlocked, I have yet to open the car door on the first try. It’s typically three or four attempts; to an onlooker, I’m sure it seems as if the handle and I have a secret handshake that neither of us can quite remember.

5. “I’m just going to check if I left my wallet in the car last…” —and there you are, standing in your garage, locked out of your car because the fob is somewhere else.

6. Did you borrow your wife’s fob for a quick trip to the store? Prepare to be compacted into a mini-me as the automatic seat conforms your body to match her size.

7. You have to watch YouTube to figure out how to turn on the defrost. Even if you find the right model year, it still might not match your car. (“Oh, that’s for the XLS; we have the XLS Sport.”) And while we are grateful for these handful of white middle-aged men, brevity and cinematography are not their strong suits. (BTW, this is not a plea for diversity: I didn’t even check out “My Bestie and Me Meet and Name My New Car.”)

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